Thursday, September 24, 2015
So I'm sitting in Starbucks behind a young man and woman conversing... And their dynamic is warm and beautiful and fresh- they are talking openly and freely, getting serious, then laughing... I sense love is in the air! You might think I'm a creeper for listening in on strangers, but, if you've read my other blogs, you'd know how much I love analyzing strangers.
Sometimes strangers tell you more about yourself and who you want to be more than someone you've known for years. Just the way they represent themselves makes you look at the way you represent your own self. Are you friendly? Open? Grumpy? Talkative? Annoying? Charismatic? Shy?
Those first 5 seconds of meeting someone is sometimes a moment you remember for a long time-- despite the thing they regret saying yesterday, despite the pain they are still getting over, despite the baggage you can't shrug off.
"My history doesn't look good" he says, "Mine doesn't either" she replies.
They laugh, and move on, and enjoy each other's company despite the stories they just shared with each other, revealing their rocky past.
And now they share their little quirks, and you can tell they find each other endearing because of them.
Friends, THIS is what a normal date, get together, or any kind of social experience should look like.
I feel like we are lacking this today.
Why is the act of deep conversation a thing of the past?
Why can't we take the time to dive deep into each other's minds, with walls down, and hearts open, respecting each other and showing each other you are important?
This is something I need to work on too. It's a lot easier to stay in my own mind than try to share the craziness within my brain (cause let me tell ya, it's pretty cray cray in there). Sometimes I'm with my fiancé, and fail to partake in the deep conversation we need because I'm too occupied with my phone or other illegitimate things.
I want us- myself and my loved ones, this generation, this world- to have this same level of social intimacy as these strangers in Starbucks do.
Intimacy gets a bad rap. People either understand it as a concept of sex, or just as something incredibly uncomfortable. Because sometimes being intimate with someone- showing your heart and soul-- that really is uncomfortable. But once you knock down those walls and get past the initial uncomfortable feeling, you realize the value of intimacy. You realize that is the foundation to real friendships and real love.
Yall, let's be REAL with each other. These roles we think we need to put ourselves in are often an unnecessary detour from our destiny. Let's be intimate, let's show our hearts, let's treat our neighbors like we would want to be treated, and love each other through our messes.
Messes can be really beautiful sometimes.
Back to my cappuccino I go.