Monday, May 5, 2014


My first year of college is officially over. I cannot believe that it has gone by so extremely fast.
It feels like it was just yesterday when I had my living room filled with stuff for my dorm and I myself was filled to the brim with excitement for a new chapter. And now this chapter is closing.

I came to Wingate with little expectations and a prayer for God to "Take me, mold me, use me, fill me"... I knew that it meant that there would be highs and lows but I didn't realize how high the highs were and how low the lows were. And let me tell you, this year has been one of the best years of my life. Not only because the good parts were extremely good, but because the bad parts were only so bad that they caused my focus to always turn back to my Creator. I was perpetually reminded that I cannot do this on my own, that through the strength of Christ alone am I able to be used.

I recently read through the book of Ecclesiastes and I realized that that book was totally written for me (haha). Most people read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 to know that "for everything there is a season and a time.." but I read verse 11 and it resonates in my life:
"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end."
How wonderful is that?
At the same time, how terrible is that?! To not be able to see the whole blue print of the plans He has laid out for us. I struggle with that. I especially struggled with that at the beginning of this year.

You know, when you graduate high school, everybody is quoting Jeremiah 29:11 at you: "For I know the plans I have for you', says the Lord. 'Plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

And then you get to real life and face disaster and face not-so-good times and you worry about your future and you feel void of hope and cannot help but think "WHAT ARE THESE PLANS YOU SPEAK OF, GOD?! Do You not see that THE STRUGGLE IS REAL right now?!"

And thats when you need to open your Bible. And turn to Jeremiah 29:11. Read it. And read the next two verses.
"In those days when you pray, I will listen.  If you look for Me wholeheartedly, you will find Me."

There is something so powerful to me about that, considering it is right after He says that He has plans for us. He doesn't clarify what "those days" are going to be like. He just knows that you're gonna need to pray, especially in times of desperation. And He is listening.

The Creator of the universe is listening for me and waiting for me to seek Him. And to think the amount of patience that He has for me, who often seeks so many other things. Like Ecclesiastes says, "all these things are meaningless-- like chasing the wind."And I will chase that wind until that wind blows me right over. And those are the days that I have nothing left to do but seek His face and talk to my Father, who is so willingly and patiently ready to take me and mold me and use me and fill me-- in every single chapter of my life.

Not sure who this preacher is, but he is preaching some truth. Thought I'd share.